If there is one thing I have come to realize about this whole weirdass human experience… this thing we call LIFE… is that it is full of uncertainty.
What will I eat today?
Where will I be in 5 years from now?
How the hell am I going to finish XYZ project?
It’s a GUARANTEE that we will all, at some point in EVERY day, not have a damn clue what is going on in our minds, our hearts, our thoughts, our feelings....
AND THAT IS OK. IT’S OK TO SAY “I DON’T KNOW”.
For years I always had this never ending feeling of wanting to BE certain about “things”.
I wanted a plan.
I needed a “vision”.
I had to feel like a successful human (which back then meant having things and making money). I planned like a ninja on cocaine to try to fit MORE MORE MORE into my daily routine.
Fuck, even recalling this period in my life stirs up a bit of anxiety as well as wanting to kick my present self in the ass… or reach for “a glass” of red wine ( I say “a glass” because who the hell measures what “a glass” is… well me… I measured one time and was horrified for the lack of life the asshole who decided that 5 ounces is ONE serving must have lived to make such a tragic decision).
See… it even manages to shit on our consumption of alcohol because I’m willing to bet most of us would “I don’t know”-it if asked about correct serving sizes. Hell… I say to EACH their own damn it (in a smart and sensible way of course)!
Why are we racing to DEATH people?
For real. Why are so many people running around trying to “do MORE, be MORE, have MORE, make MORE money”... and desire every moment of their life to be tied up in a pretty little bow?
Well people, it’s OK to chill the fuck out… it’s ok to not know what you are doing ALL day every day. It’s a nearly impossible standard we crazy humans hold ourselves too.
What is the point of running around like a strung out hot mess trying to “keep it all together” and “figure it all out”... all its going to give you MORE of is anxiety. Yuck.
And you know what anxiety does? This is something we know all too well… we feel like the world is about to cave in, we feel unfocused, confused, and stressed out to the point of wanting to just say “Fuck it all” and crawl into a dark and cozy black hole. Yup.
It’s time to release the pressure valve that has been holding back your ability to REALLY relax… to finally smell those freaking rose once and for all… to actually have a face to face human conversation with someone without checking your phone like an addict needing his or her next fix.
It’s time to embrace the power of “I DON’T KNOW”.
It’s the unknown, the unsure, the unresolved, the undetermined…
It’s life pending.
It’s the sensation of not feeling completely confident or sure of something.
AND IT’S SOMETHING WE ALL FEEL AND EXPERIENCE.
So what do you do when feeling uncertain?
Let’s take a closer look at 5 ways to handle uncertainty without feeling like a fool:
1. Breathe in the Good Shit, Exhale the Bullshit:
Or more simply said… LET. IT. GO.
Recognize that there is only so much you can do right NOW.
You can’t control everything… accept that (or you WILL become a crazy person - guaranteed).
Balance is a MYTH people! Life is more like phases and your mission is to develop a keen sense of awareness of knowing where you are at.
“When will you begin that long journey into yourself?
2. Have a Vision-ish
What do you WANT? Seriously… what occupies your mind space on the reg? What do you sit and think about when you are meant to be focused on “work”? These daytime dreams and desires that dance through your head ARE telling you something...
Pay attention. Write it down. Congrats! You’ve created your vision-ish
You can have it all… just not all at one time. The sooner you let that sink in, the sooner you can chill the F out on trying to “have it all” or be everything for everyone.
Have a general idea of where you are going in life… but don’t be scared to break off and explore the path less traveled from time to time.
“Following straight lines shortens distances… but also LIFE.”
3. Baby Step that shit
Coming from the former MASTER of thinking she can get from point A to Z in 1 swooping step… STOP fucking up your vibe (and your day) by focusing on step 5 when you haven’t even finished step 1… unless you want to feel anxious, overwhelmed, and stressed the F out.
What can you do right NOW, with what you know and have… to make progress?
The universe responds to those who step forward… so at least take one baby step and get your ass moving before you overthink yourself to the point of paralyzation.
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
4. Know what you know… and know what you don’t
And know that you don’t have to know it ALL
If you want to know something… invest in yourself and take the time and energy to learn. Develop yourself. Teach yourself. Always be focused on learning and growing.
“To know a thing, to hold that you know it, and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it - this is knowledge.”
5. Go with your GUT
No really, listen to your gut and NEVER EVER EVER doubt that shit unless you want to put yourself in a world of hurt.
Have the courage to trust yourself… listen to your nudges. (Click for a Tedx Talk)
“If we don’t listen to the slaps around the face… then the steamrollers of life come to get us.”
And if you really want to get your ass in the “I don’t KNOW” gear… look no further than the oh so eloquently titled book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*uck by Mark Manson.
As much as I love me a good use of the F word… I’m pretty sure your boss and children wouldn’t approve it’s frequent use (if they do, then two fucking thumbs up to you!).
In a society where we like to keep things so P.C. and P.G. (**free the nipple!)… a good solid “I DON’T KNOW” will suffice… or one of these “smarter” versions:
“I’m not sure… but I’ll find out and let you know.”
“I’ll look into it and get back to you with what I find.”
“Let’s find out.”
“I’m not the best person to answer that. I recommend talking to…”
“That’s an interesting questions. Tell me what’s driving it.”
Let’s just all be a bit more human and honestly admit to ourselves AND others when we don’t know something.
You don’t always have to have an answer.
You don’t always need to know or have something to say.
You’re only human after all.